Help me please

joke 1. 2 hunters were out in the woods right while they were following fresh tracks from a big elk one of the hunters drop to the ground and his eyes roll backwards so the other hunter whips out his phone and calls the hospital "I THINK MY FRIEND IS DEAD!" he told the doctor the doctor told him " Calm down let's make sure he's dead. so there is a moment of silence the you here a big pop the hunter says "NOW WHAT!"     (he shot his friend)

joke 2. I wanted to be a democrat for halloween but i could not stick my head far enough up my a/s/s to be one.

brainliest for being funny?