I need help Over the years I have gained a hatred for people, and it’s gotten to the point where I have had mental breakdowns

Even at the age of 10 I stormed to my room crying.
Or the time I stabbed my build a bear with some scissors✂️

I just want to hurt people at this point I just need help

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Well if you pick a machine to work on and that's gonna be your exercise if you don't stick to that machine your muscle strength your muscle mass rather will change because you haven't been doing it you change something in your exercise routine which changes your body's form of dealing with things for example you might become weaker or stronger depending on what kind of exercises you do in whether or not the machine you picked actually your muscles grow.