I have a few questions about my mental health:
What does it mean if I'm afraid of being taken, but don't know what would take me?
What could cause me to think others aren't who they say they are, but I know who they should be?
What causes people to see figures that aren't there?
Why do my dreams feel so real, but they don't seem realistic?
Why do I miss the bad things that happened to me?

I'm not doing well. I've been to a mental hospital, and I've had these feelings (a while ago). They're all flooding back, and it's like I don't know myself anymore. I'm desperate. If anyone knows ANYTHING about this, please reply. I'm not on the right insurance for a therapist right now, but I will be by the end of the month. I just can't wait that long.

I know you said you’re waiting for insurance to cover therapy, but Id like to again reiterate the importance of talking this all out with a licensed professional as SOON as you possibly can. While I didn’t know the answers to all of your questions, your question, “why do I miss the bad things that happened to me?” really got me. Sometimes, we miss bad things in our life because we felt like we deserved them, or we just want to go back to when we should’ve been normal kids- it’s a longing for innocence. As for the dreams and hallucinations, both can feel very real, which is why it’s so important to see a therapist. There are medications that help with nightmares and others with hallucinations, but don’t trip if you’re not sure about medicine yet. Some people need it, some people don’t- a therapist or psychiatrist will help you figure that out. While you wait for therapy, perhaps consider calling a help/text hotline to come up with some ways to help. TrevorChat is a textline for LGBTQ youth, but they deal with issues beyond the LGBT spectrum including bullying, mental illness, etc.

Depression is lifelong, though you can get medication to with it. the difference between sadness and depression is that sadness lasts a little bit, depression last a long time and it goes on and off. people usually get depression through experiences they have been through, or genetics.