I am trying to give an innocent feeling off of this story. Let me know what I should change to get that.
Light danced in the water as the three girls were splashing each other in the shallow kiddie pool. They wore mermaid tails in colors of glittering red, green, and yellow. The neighbors proceeded to watch their excitement, along with exchanging smiles and drinking tea. They had just gotten back from church and were enjoying their day off, watching their toddlers play in the sun. The neighbors talked amongst themselves, and left the toddlers to play to see a remodeled kitchen. The toddlers laughed as they argued over who has the prettiest tail.
The three toddlers were 4, 3, and 2. They had gotten their mermaid tails as a gift from their mothers, and they appreciated it very much. They splashed and kicked in the kiddie pool, but found that there was not enough water to fully submerge their tails. One went to turn on the water, and came back to find her two friends making each other’s hair. She giggled, going onto hop into the pool with the two girls. But as she was about to make a run to her friends, her mermaid tail was caught onto something, and she was dragged in the muddy grass, her screams muffled with mud smashed into her face. A weed scraped along her arms as she hopelessly kicked and scratched at the ground. Her red mermaid tail was tainted with mud.
The two other toddlers still played their mermaid games in the sun, their yellow and green tails reflecting off of the water in which they played in. their eyes showed the colors of the cool water on the hot, summer day, and small white-flowered weeds were showered with droplets.
I'm not entirely sure if this is good writing, just please give me atleast one thing to add to this.
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I am trying to give an innocent feeling off of this story. Let me know what I should change to get t...
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