The speaker in audre lorde’s poem seems to be

A 14-year-old teenager with anxiety and insecurity problems.

From the first stanza of the poem Hanging Fire by Audre Lorde, she had introduced her narrator as a 14-year-old girl. Throughout the poem, the narrator had shared some of the things about her life. She had shared the changes going through her body and as well as the changes in her society. It may not be clear but the narrator seems to have issues with racial discrimination because of her skin color. Many people would think that the poem is a little confusing but somehow, it might be a perfect presentation of how teenagers understand the small changes in the physical and emotional aspect.

self-monitoring is in other words holding back your emotions for the better good. usually, people who can't hold their excitement, temper, or any other emotions, need to self-monitor themselves.   lol