Knapps Relationship model has a total of 10 stages, divided into 5 from the coming together section, and 5 from the Coming apart section.
This helps to understand how a relationship progresses and deteriorates. Diverse levels of speed and altered time between each step can be seen and experienced when a relationship grows. The steps can be even skipped out while the progression or deterioration of a relationship.
Coming together
I. Initiation – This very short stage is all about making an impression. People will be concerned with making favorable impressions. The physical appearance plays a great role in impression making such as the dress that they wear, the perfume they use and the overall appearance.
II.Experimentation – In this stage, it’s all about exploring to know each other well. Experimentation is also called as the probing stage because each person will analyze the other for information or a common interest so that they can decide whether to maintain a relationship among them.
III. Intensifying – In this stage the relationship intensifies and becomes less formal. People will start revealing their personal information and will analyze the impression on the other person. They find various ways to nurture a relationship in order to strengthen interpersonal development such as gifts, spending more time together, asking for dates, expecting a relationship commitment etc.
IV. Integration – At this stage, the people will start to make their relationship as much closer than before.In personal life people may fall in love or find a close friend. The level of intimacy can progress to a further relationship.
V. Bonding – In this stage, a person will announce to the world about their relationship. They make their relationship recognized and will honor their commitment legally. The relationship is indefinite and only to be broken through a formal notice, agreements or death etc.
Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model
Coming apart
I. Differentiating – When people progress in a relationship they sometimes due to other external pressures will start thinking individually rather than with the partner. They may start developing hobbies or other endeavours. The relationship will start to fade and the everlasting bond will be broken.
II. Circumscribing – After differentiating partners will limit their conversations and will set up boundaries in their communication. Often people will never communicate the topic fearing an argument. They will have their own personal space and activities.
III. Stagnation – The relationship will decline even more if it reaches the stagnation stage. The communication will be more limited. The only reason the partners don’t separate is due to children or other unavoidable reasons. Mostly the relationships in this stage will not continue or improve.
IV. Avoidance – At this stage, the partners intentionally avoid any contacts and they will be physically detached. They restrict themselves from any forms of communication to avoid a conversation or an argument.
V. Terminating – This is the final stage of coming apart. The relationship completely terminates. The partners will take different paths and will go on with their lives. The termination is not just a subjective decision as a divorce but it can occur naturally when the people who were living next door move out or when room-mates change as the year ends.
The reasons for which not all relationships go through all these stages is that every person is a different individual and we can find that some specific personality traits are sometimes not even present in ourselves. While some people might need to find reasons to like somebody, like having things in common, some other people find these common things to be boring for a relationship. Another good argument would be that sometimes the avoidance step, seen as almost the last step of the coming apart section, might be exactly what someone needs to realize that they still love each other. Or even more dramatic, separating sometimes serves such a purpose.
