Read the following passage: He was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. Hanyu won after he performed more snowboard tricks than
the people who didn't win. Unlike them, Hanyu got more height off the snow. The winner did the most difficult snowboard
tricks.
Which revision below most effectively uses referents to create coherence?
Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. To begin with, he won for performing more tricks
than his competitors. Next, he showed a higher degree of difficulty than them. Finally, he got more height off the snow
than the rest.
He was the winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship by performing more, higher, harder tricks
Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more snowboard tricks. He had more
height. He did the most difficult tricks.
Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more tricks than his competitors, and
with a higher degree of difficulty. Hanyu also got more height off the snow than anyone else.