What is the best way to revise sentence 3 to include better sensory details?

Read the excerpt from "annabel lee," by edgar allan poe. and this was the reason that, long ago, in this kingdom by the sea, a wind blew out of a cloud, chilling my beautiful annabel lee; so that her highborn kinsmen came and bore her away from me, to shut her up in a sepulchre in this kingdom by the sea. how does the rhythm of the excerpt support the theme of the poem? the rhythm changes on the phrase “a kingdom by the sea,” emphasizing poe’s distrust of a monarchy. the rhythm changes on the phrase “bore her away from me,” emphasizing poe’s desire to be reunited the rhythm changes on the words “chilling” and “sepulchre,” emphasizing poe’s complaint about unexpected death. the rhythm changes on the words “lee” and “me,” emphasizing poe’s fear that his bond with his love is fragile.

Read the excerpt from "the love song of j. alfred prufrock." and indeed there will be time to wonder, “do i dare? ” and, “do i dare? ” time to turn back and descend the stair, with a bald spot in the middle of my hair— [they will say: “how his hair is growing thin! ”] my morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin, my necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin— [they will say: “but how his arms and legs are thin! ”] do i dare disturb the universe? in a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse. which lines indicate that the speaker is concerned about what others think of him?

If their eyes were watching god were told from the first person point of view how might the the story be different would it be a more captivating or interesting story why or why not