Hey guys could you check these out for me and read them, i'm questioning having a job in comedy so technically this withins limits cause it can help me with a future career, just read these and tell what you think!!! This is for an older audience, and 1 equals first person, and 2 equals second person! 1;"Surgery is just sta-bb-ing someone to life"
2;"please never become a surgeon"

1;''I have never l-ied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth,"
2; "the truth doesn't have versions!'.

1"all you do is kil-l people"
2:" thats like saying all motzart did was write songs".

1: 'I think i've finally gotten over my fe-ar of ghosts"
2: thats the sprit!"
1; Oh cru-d! where!'

1;why can't trees make something useful, like wifi'
2; so screw oxygen i guess'

1;lasagna is spaghettie cake"
2: how high are you?'
1;"5"1'.

1;Apologize!'
2; Un-f##K you i guess"

1:I want to di-e!
2: Don't be like that were in this together!
1; you're right! We want to di-e!
2; NO!

1: That goes against my moral compass.
2: Your moral compass is an fing roulette wheel'

1: Why is he carrying around a potted plant?
2: He said so many stu-pid things today i'm making him cary that to make up for the oxygen he wasted".

1; you alright?
2:yeah why?
1: You asked the woman at the store if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.

1: As you can see were professionals!
2: those two just die-d!
1; As you can see, im a professional!

1; I don't have a resting Bi#ch face my Bi#ch face is always awake and working.

18 points so for my assignment there need to be like conflict and stuff but i don't know where i am going with this. can somebody me out? and it needs to be turned in by 12.ring ring, ring ring… “dr. watson, hi. i have run out of blueberries at my berry shop! may you pick some up on your way here? remember, not the ones by the big pine. the ones by the creek.” “of course, sherlock! i’m on my way right now. see you soon! ” said dr. watson. beep. dr. watson always wants to impress sherlock so he made sure to leave right away to have enough time to pick through all the berries and find the best ones. it was about a 4-hour walk from dr. watson’s cottage to the berry shop, so he made sure not get distracted. about 2 hours into his walk, he started approaching the berries. however, these were the ones by the big pine that did not look very appetizing. the blueberries were so small, you could taste the sourness through your teeth. most of them weren’t even ripe yet. straight green. dr. watson turned away with his sour face and headed toward the creek. there, he saw the most beautiful berries. plump and juicy, dark blue, and so big, you could almost compare them to some grapes! as dr. watson went to pick the first berry, sherlock called. “hi! just checking in. how is it going? we have a few people who put in orders for blueberries. they will be picking them up tomorrow morning and we still need to get the blueberries through the sanitizing process.” “yes, i am going as fast as i can. i will be there soon! ”

The difference between the present reservoir, with its silent sterile shores and debris-choked side canyons, and the original glen canyon, is the difference between death and life. glen canyon was alive. lake powell is a graveyard. which word best contributes to the author’s sad tone?

During an experiment measuring the change in temperature of a chemical reaction your digital thermometer breaks. you have the same model thermometer available to use how do you proceed with the experiment a. continue on with the new thermometer b. begin the experiment again with the new thermometer c. calibrate the new thermometer and make a notation regarding the change in equipment d. calibrate the new thermometer and begin the experiment again