If someone could help me fix this to sound better and "make more sense and use better grammar" like my teacher asked me to do, it would be so so so helpful ^v^ thx! But gazing at this love-less boy the girl made a decision…she would give this boy her love. So she did. But you see, This girl, she gave that boy her whole entire heart. Not because she felt pity for him or because She would take it back later on or even to make her look great to society, but, because she was very much aware that he required it, more than she ever would.

However, while gazing at this love-less boy, the girl made a decision. She would give this boy her love. She did, but you see, she gave the boy her whole heart. That was not because she felt pity for him. Or because she would take it back later on. Or even to make her look great to society. She did it since she was very much aware that he required it, more than she ever would.

Explanation:

Hope this helps!

"it's more of an essay than story, but perhaps it is best described as a mood-piece: it uses a lot of musical imagery, not to mention sea imagery, religious imagery, and any other imagery that suits his purpose."