Please tell me your option if my writing is good or not

Proofread the passage and identify the spelling and punctuation errors. no one knows the exect cause of diabetes. most people who get type 2 diabetes are older, but now younger people are being diagnosed with it. like many young people, you are probably thinking, "why should i be concerned about diabetes? " the truth is that both the center for disease control and the american diabetes association are quite alarmed about the increase in type 2 diabetes among young people. information gathered in the 1990s showed a rapid increase in type 2 diabetes in children. during the 2000s, this trend is continue. scientists who study diabetes are finding that 85 percent of the children who are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes are overweight. but that is just one reason for the increase. children are at risk for type 2 diabetes if they are inactive, have a family history of diabetes, or are from african american, american indian, or asian american families.

Read this passage: i think of you daily, my darling, especially when it’s dark and the other men in the foxhole become silent. i like to pretend that the gunfire is a fireworks display and that you are here with me to enjoy it. who is the intended audience for this passage? a. the writers girlfriend at home b. the writers fellow soldiers c. the writers mother and father d. the writers commanding officer

What is the message? how does langston hughes convey the message in this poem?