Ordyn has written the following paragraph for his rhetorical analysis: the kairos of the article was germane because it was articulated in pc gamer just days before the gamergate controversy was fully expressed. however, while the timing was opportune, the article seems far more relevant to legacy gamers than those hardcore mmorpg or fps gamers. unfortunately, since the article appeared first in a gaming magazine, the primary audience becomes gamers, who are most likely to disdain this message because it seems like a respective censure of them. that is unfortunate because the message itself is well crafted. what can jordyn do to improve the quality of this paragraph?

Armed with invisible ink, a cipher system, and a passion to end the war and preserve the union, elizabeth van lew became butler's eyes and ears in the confederate capital city. truth be told, however, she became much more than that. she became a spymaster, the person responsible for running a network of agents, couriers, and safe houses that was very active during the war. in addition to the spying, elizabeth van lew continued to maintain her church hill home as a safe house and something of a local union spy headquarters. —the dark game, paul janeczko what is the central idea of this passage? van lew’s home was used as a safe house, which was critical to the confederacy. van lew had a passion to end the war and preserve the union. van lew was a spymaster, a leading force in the espionage activities for the union. van lew did not enjoy working for general butler.