So, i need a very inspirational and funny graduation speech; about 5-7 minutes long. you will get 98 points for this i wish i could give you more, but that's all i'm allowed to .

Good morning fellow students,teachers (etc)

first I would like thank my... (tell about your teachers , friends , parents for what they've done for you )

Now, I know that having a honorary doctorate degree will do nothing for me, but I'm here to tell you today that your degrees, the ones you toiled to get, the ones you actually took classes to earn, those degrees, will also basically do nothing. Let me clarify. You can't exchange your degree for cash. You can't have a degree audition or interview for you. You can not eat it.Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Now it’s time for you to move on to what’s next. But you must not let anything deter you from taking those first steps. Don’t spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that you miss the right opportunity. Recognize that there will be failures, and acknowledge that there will be obstacles. But you will learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others, for there is very little learning in success.

before I end my speech I would like to include a piece of adviceAs we get ready  to cross this stage  for the last time...make sure your around when people need someone to lean on...Thank you

faithful servants eumaeus and philaetius:

his ragged vest then drawn aside disclosed the sign conspicuous, and the scar exposed: eager they view'd, with joy they stood amazed with tearful eyes o'er all their master gazed:

these servants know ulysses by the scar he got when he was a child - so when he showed them the mark, they immediately knew this is truly their master and they hugged him, finally starting to believe his words.