I'm entering a writting contest, is there anything i should add or take from this before i submitt it?
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pages are numberes, sorry for the bad handwrittig.

It's not bad. Maybe you should introduce the characters a bit in the beginning and describe a bit about how they look and how their personality

Explanation: If your entering a writing contest, you need to put lots of detail in order to impress the judges.

I would suggest that you give a better explanation of the events in the story, that way the readers get more of an idea. It would impress the judges if you also give a clear plot, and a title. Maybe, even introduce more characters and fix the language errors that I explained below.

On P2, it says "Was that a smile or a smirk?" 'that' needs to be changed to 'it'.

"This time he left and made no surprise attack this time, whatsoever." 'whatsoever' needs to be deleted.

"Lunar headed for her quarters and entered it." 'it' must be erased as well.

On P4, "Never mind that, let us talk of this request Orman has given us, shall we?" change 'of' to 'about'.

"The tried to murder Orman and I" change 'The' to 'They' and 'I' to 'me'

The story is really good overall, I love the end you give to it, making the reader want to find out more about! It's perfect! Good job!

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