Hey guys free pointsss! I just wrote this today, can you tell me what you think? I want your honest opinion lol. Thank you ^-^. I Need Your Light To Be Sane

Happiness? What is that anymore?
To be honest, I didn't know before.
Before, you came into my life.
Yes, you give me that light.
You are my escape from this thing called, "family."
Without you all these feelings keep ramming me.
I wish I could tell you more,
but lately, I couldn't feel anymore.
And when I do feel it's not pleasant.
The feelings start coming, even in the present.
They bash at my head and break my skull.
And then, all I hear in my ears is a lull.
Happiness? What is that anymore?
To be honest, I didn't know before.
Before, you came into my life.
Yes, you give me that light.
You are my escape from this thing called, "family."
Without you all these feelings keep ramming me.
Please, little sister, I need you in my life.
Without you I want to grab a knife.
I want to drive it in deep
and see the blood seep.
But, I don't want to die, no, not today.
I just want the mental pain to go away.
Happiness? What is that anymore?
To be honest, I didn't know before.
Before, you came into my life.
Yes, you give me that light.
You are my escape from this thing called, "family."
Without you all these feelings keep ramming me.